We are the Millers

Check out Shannon at  Life After I Dew  for So What Wednesday. So what if: ~I haven't really had the motivation to blog lately and I hate that.  I used to love to blog and now I struggle to find things to blog about. ~I avoid giving my kids real cups to drink out of most of the time because I can't stand the way they sound when they drink.  The slurping drives me nuts. ~I cried when I left the doctor's office Monday because she didn't even check to see if I was dilated.  Pregnancy hormones at their finest. ~I started watching Dexter.  I've never been that interested in watching it but I finally caved.  I'm into the second season and I have said 'I'm bored' on more than one occasion but I'm going to stick with it. ~I'm still not interested in The Walking Dead. ~The Minions movie was released on Netflix and the kids have been watching it non stop.  From the previews, I wasn't really sure I wanted them watching it but I've ...

Well, we are in the home stretch. 38 weeks pregnant.  (38w3d to be exact) Ashlyn was induced at 38w2d and Bryan came on his own at 39w4d so it really could be any day now.  And I'm ready. Not because I'm feeling huge and uncomfortable.  Not because of the hip pain or the big ole head pushing down on my lady bits.  Not because I have to pee every ten minutes (literally).  Not because I could literally sleep all day and all night long.  Not because I keep having contractions that come and go whenever they please. None of the end of pregnancy symptoms matter.  I have a full term baby in my belly.  I have nothing to complain about and everything to be thankful for. But the anxiety. Carrying a baby after a loss is hard.  I never imagined it would be this hard.  I never imagined the panic that exists during the entire 9 months.  I never imagined how worried I would be the whole time no matter how great everything has been....

Check out Shannon at  Life After I Dew  for So What Wednesday. So what if: ~I am thinking of putting Ashlyn in preschool this Fall and I'm surprised by how emotional that's been making me.  ~I thought I was calling the dr last night.  Lots of contractions and cramping but false alarm.  Let's go little boy.  You can come out now. ~Even though I say that ^ I really want him to wait for a week or weekend that I will have my female OB.  I just like her better. ~I am SO over the crazy that goes on in my husband's family.  The backstabbing, the talking badly about each other, the non stop issues.  It's so not worth our energy. ~I like the Woman's Day magazine but there are so many ad pages that it's hard to even read the dam thing. ~My brother in law and sister in law finally announced their pregnancy!  (and then were promptly bashed by family members they don't even speak to)  I'm excited for them and all of the a...

Check out Shannon at  Life After I Dew  for So What Wednesday. So what if: ~I'm really into florals right now and I want a floral purse.  My husband thinks I'm nuts. ~I was highly surprised by how our taxes worked out this year.  One more stressor to take off our list. ~I am so disappointed with the lack of progress I'm having with this baby.  I know I have 3ish weeks left but with all the cramping I've been having, I thought for sure something was happening.  I was wrong.  ~After months of asking, my husband finally dug the bouncy seat out of the loft only to find that it is broken.  Thank goodness for Target...I got a new one for a great price and free shipping. ~I've been taking naps with the boy every day.  I feel like I really need that nap in the middle of the day but then I can't get myself to sleep at night. ~I get so annoyed with all the 'our hearts are breaking for you' when it comes to celebrity divorces.  W...

Dear Colson, It's been one year. One whole year since my world stopped and everything changed. One whole year since I held you way too soon. Seems like such a long time and yet my heart aches as if it just happened yesterday. The months after losing you were so hard.  I thought about you all the time, cried for you, tried to figure out what I could have done to keep you here with us.  I tried not to blame myself for losing you but who else could I blame?  Your Daddy and I talked about you almost every day for those first few months.  How could we not?  We missed you so much. As the months went on, it got a little easier, a little less painful.  Life became distracting and it actually helped a little.  We were happy to be doing something new in our lives but sad that you weren't going to be a part of it as we had planned.  I think you would have loved our new house, especially the big playroom. Your due date w...

Check out Shannon at  Life After I Dew  for So What Wednesday. So what if: ~I am the worst at blogging right now.  Just thinking about sitting down to try to put words together so that they makes sense gives me a headache.  I'm blaming pregnancy brain. ~I've just come across the band Twenty One Pilots and I'm obsessed with the song Stressed Out.  I like a lot of their other music too but this is my repeat song right now. ~I removed about half of the toys in the playroom because the kids were always trashing the room.  Even with less toys, they still manage to trash it.  But now I make them clean it all up themselves. ~I have not jumped on the Snapchat bandwagon and I don't intend to any time soon.  ~I have also not watched Fuller House and have no intentions to do so.  ~My sister in law gave me a book called Tear Soup and I kinda love it.  It's about healing after loss and I recommend it to really anyone who has lost someon...