And Then There Were Two

I've heard so many people tell me that bringing a second child home was not nearly as hard for them as bringing the first child home.  That they at least had some kind of idea as to what they were doing the second time around.

This was not true for me at all.

I had no issues bringing Baby Girl home.  I was never nervous about how I was going to take care of her.  I never had any doubts about how I'd adjust to having that little girl in my life.  My husband was the 'are they really letting us leave with this kid' type.  I was not.  I knew it would all be great.

The second kid?  Scared. The. Shit. Out. Of. Me.

Why? 

I really had no idea how I was going to divide my time.  How do I take care of the baby and not piss off the toddler?  How do I keep the toddler busy and make her feel like I'm not ignoring her?  How do I make sure she doesn't resent her baby brother because he takes up too much of my time?

And then there's her reaction.  How was she going to react to a baby brother?  Would she be attentive or would she be resentful?  Would she want to help out with him or not be bothered?  How would she adjust to not being the only child anymore? 

I was so scared that Baby Girl would hate her brother and would start to resent him or us.  I was scared that I would be so attentive to the baby that I would forget about Baby Girl and that she would see that.  She's always been such a great little girl so I was really scared.

There was really only one time when Baby Girl almost hurt her little brother and I don't really think she was doing it on purpose.  It really scared me but she never did anything like it again after I explained to her that it was bad and that she could hurt him.  (She tried stepping on his chest while he was laying on his play mat.)

Most days she is quite attentive to her little brother.  She tries to shush him when he cries.  She tries to give him his pacifier to calm him.  She gives him his blanket if it's laying around.  She does such a great job as a big sister.  And now that he is bigger and more mobile, she is starting to take an interest in playing with him.  Well, stealing his toys anyway.

She is also quite patient.  She has her days when she wants Mommy's attention and is pretty demanding about it but for the most part, she is amazing.  As long as I explain things to her, she is great.

My kids amaze me every single day.  Ashlyn has become such an awesome big sister.  She is learning so many new things and she catches onto things so quickly!  Her personality is blazing.  She has her Daddy's social skills and her Mommy's sassiness.  I just can't believe how awesome this kid is.

And her brother is just the happiest little dude.  He is always smiling and laughing.  And he is such an explorer.  I just love how nosy he is.  I can't believe that in 5 short months, he will be a year old already. 

My heart just swells so much for these kids.  I am so lucky that I get to be their Mama.  I tell my husband all of the time that we are just the luckiest parents alive and I truly believe that.  They are the reason that I have such bad baby fever!  Seriously, if you took my kids for one day, you'd have baby fever too. 

And while bringing home our second baby felt one thousand times harder than bringing home our first baby, it was totally worth it.  Schedules adjust, everyone adapts and our hearts literally grow in size to accommodate all of the love.  My heart is so full.