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Friday's Letters

 
Dear Baby Girl, so we realized last night that you now know all of your ABC's.  You sing that song like it's going out of style.  You even sing the last two added lines.  Cutest.Thing.Ever.  You know what's not so cute?  The diarrhea you've had for the last week.  Let's get over that OK?
 
Dear Baby #2, dude..chill with the appetite.  You obviously like cupcakes but did you really need to convince Mommy to make two dozen?  You've started adding some pounds now and you've got me all worried about my weight.  Yes, I know 6lbs at 22 weeks isn't anything to go crazy over but with the appetite you have, I'm afraid you'll have me doubling that by my next appointment!

Dear Aunt Deb, thanks for watching Baby Girl today for me.  I'd much rather she have her nasty blowouts at home than at daycare.  Besides, we don't need her giving other kids this illness, if that's what it is.

Dear daycare, I'm sorry that Baby Girl will miss picture day but I really don't need to spend another $70 on a picture package when I take 100 photos of her a day myself.  Besides, do you really want to keep dealing with her blowouts?  Oh...you do?  Yes, I know you love her but that's gross.

Dear Hyundai, really?  A suicide commercial?  Not cool.  Hyundai Motor Suicide Ad

Dear house, it was really nice to finally get you cleaned.  I'll be working on a deep clean for you in the next few months so be prepared. 

Dear Grey's, holy crap you are just getting better and better!!!!!

Dear sorority girl, your email was ridiculous.  I know that you are kinda dumb and I hope that you are now humiliated for sending it.  I don't think I've ever heard the F word used so many times in one email (and that's at the top of my list of favorite words).  There were a few other words that made me laugh out loud but I won't share them here.  Good luck getting your Google search results to provide anything other than 'crazy sorority email goes viral' from now on. 

Dear Kim, thank you so much for making my swing and car seat covers.  You were so easy to work with and so flexible.  Check out Kim's Etsy shop here:  Kims Whimsy.  She does amazing work and will get any fabric you want.

Dear Amanda Bynes, you are ridiculously annoying and I am so over you.  Well, I was never on your or behind your or anywhere near you but I'm still over you.  Get your shit together because you are crazy.  Tell your friend Lindsay too.

Dear readers, Have a good weekend!

And since I haven't had a bump picture in while and my next appointment/update isn't for another two weeks...

 
I have to stop taking these pictures in the bathroom at work.  So gross.
 
 

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