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How Dare You Scare Me Like That.....You Dumb Thermometer!

Kudos to the thermometer making people who felt the need to make a thermometer that scares the shit out of unsuspecting new Moms.  I mean this thing flashes red and beeps like there's a friggin fire burning in the house directly at my feet.  And.it.scared.the.shit.out.of.me. 

Story...

So we got this really cool thermometer that has three changeable heads: rectal, mouth and arm.  It takes like 2 seconds to give me a temperature and it has always been pretty accurate.  The only kind of thermometer I trust at Ashlyn's age is the rectal (never thought I'd ever hear myself say that).  Well the battery died and we can't find this f*ing battery anywhere.  I call it an f*ing because we have looked at the grocery store, the pharmacy stores, Wal-Mart.  We have been on a hunt for this dam battery for like two months!

So I bought this $5 thermometer at Wal-Mart just to hold us over.  Well this thing was junk.  I don't doubt that the readings were accurate, it just took 5 minutes to get a reading!  Do you know how hard it is to keep a baby's legs up on the air for 5 minutes?  It was crazy!

So I called my husband last week after Ashlyn had her first fever (detected by the 5 minute thermometer) and demanded a new thermometer.  He was not to come home empty handed (with either a battery or new thermometer).  So he went to CVS and called me, giving me details on every thermometer there.  We decided on one that said it gave 5 second readings. 

The thermometer works just fine.  I guess I used the new thermometer after her temperature had already gone down last week because I don't remember it screaming at me.  This time?  Different story.  That thing started flashing red and beeping like crazy.  It literally scared the crap out of me and sent me into a panic.  I immediately wanted to scoop Baby Girl up and rush to the hospital.

I didn't panic because she had a fever, although 102.4 isn't a fun time.  I panicked because the thermometer told me to!  I panicked because that dam thing was screaming "SOMETHING'S WRONG WITH YOUR CHILD!!!!!!!"  And of course Baby Girl was crying because, well, she had a fever or 102.4 and she was hungry so that made me want to cry because her poor little face was just so confused.

Instead of acting on my first instinct, I called my Mom.  "Do I take her to the ER or call the doctor?"  Call the doctor.  So that's what I did.  And Baby Girl has an ear infection, possibly caused by a virus she may have had last week which would explain the 101 temperature.  She has antibiotics and gets to stay home from daycare for a few days and it's all good.

But what the hell?  That thermometer is going in the trash.  I will stalk the Internet for a battery for the other one and I will pay an extra $100 to have it shipped overnight but that f*ing thermometer is going right in the trash! 

Please tell me I'm not the only one to ever be scared by a thermometer.

Comments

  1. I have never seen a thermometer like that before! What made someone think that it was necessary to have a thermometer with a panic mode? So crazy! We have always used a temporal thermometer. I love it because it takes the temp in seconds, and I can even take their temp while they are sleeping (if need be) without disturbing them. Hope you find a new battery!

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    Replies
    1. It was crazy!! I'm used to it now but it still scares me to see this thing go crazy. I have one of those forehead ones but I don't think they are accurate. It's the one that you're just supposed to be able to pass it over the forehead. Never compares to the other temperature though! I will have to look into the temporal one. I hate to bother her while she is sleeping!

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