Anyone who knows me know that I LOVE Christmas.
I love the decorations. I love to decorate my own house and see all of the other cool decorations other people have. There is a house down the street from us that always has more lights and decorations than I have ever seen in one yard. It's a bit much but it's an attention grabber.
I love the Christmas tree. I love to get the tree out each year (yes we have a fake because I can't stand the needles) and I love to decorate it. Growing up, our family would decorate the tree together with all kinds of ornaments that we had collected over the years. I like to do themes for my trees. Last year I did pink and silver in honor of the newest member of our family. I'm really hoping to instill the tradition of decorating the tree with my kids.
I love finding the perfect gifts for people and I love to watch their reactions when they open those gifts. I generally wait until I have purchased ALL of my gifts, I sort them out in the living room as to who gets what and then I wrap them. Yes, I even love wrapping the gifts and putting pretty bows on them and making them look cute!
I love the way the gifts look under our Christmas tree. I love that I get a new Hallmark Jingle Pal each year and that it gets added to the collection under the tree. We put our tree up on a coffee table so the animals can't get to it. So the jingle pals sit on the table under the tree and the gifts then go under the table.
I love all of the Winter smells. I love snow. I love that on most nights, nothing lights our living room but the tree and the decorations. I love the family gatherings. We do my Mom's side of the family on Christmas Eve, then just the immediate family on Christmas Day and then we do my Dad's side of the family after Christmas.
What I'm struggling with? Santa.
My parents told us all about Santa when we were kids. We believed. Until I went snooping in my parent's bedroom and found a huge box of gifts. Of course I was like five so I investigated further only to find a ton of gifts in that box addressed "To: Vanessa From: Santa". Um....what?
I was five and confused but I didn't say anything to my parents because I didn't want to get in trouble for snooping!! I don't remember when it actually came out that I knew truth about Santa but I do remember feeling very hurt that parents lied to me.
If there was one thing my presents couldn't stand, it was lying. They tried to teach to always tell the truth, even when we knew we would get into trouble for it. They were adamant on not lying. And then they lied. And I felt betrayed. Yes, at five years old, I felt betrayed.
This is where my issue comes in. I don't want to do that to my children. I don't want to tell them for however long that there is this mythical man who delivers presents every year on Christmas Eve only to have them find out that it's all a lie. I can imagine how disappointed they will be because I was!
I don't want them waiting up until midnight Christmas Eve with cookies and milk waiting for someone who does not exist. I don't want them writing letters to the North Pole knowing they will never be sent. I also don't want them believing that the Easter Bunny comes and leaves them a basket. Or that a Tooth Fairy comes and leaves money for their fallen teeth.
I'm just not ok with it.
I'm not saying other people shouldn't do it. I would never tell someone else's child that these things don't exist and I will raise my children to be sensitive to other opinions. But I just don't want to participate in these lies.
As a more religious man, my husband couldn't agree more. He was not raised to believe in any of these things and he doesn't want our kids raised that way either. We have different reasons for this belief but we are on the same page.
Whenever I tell people this, they seem shocked, like I'm damaging my child. My Mom has a really hard time with it. She just doesn't understand how we can take away the 'magic' of Christmas. Christmas isn't supposed to be about magic. It's not even supposed to be about decorating or gift giving.
She also had a hard time at Halloween when we said no costumes or trick or treating. And she made her opinion about it known. We just don't feel that we need to have our baby dressed up in a crazy little costume, walking around the neighborhood begging for candy. I mean, what is Halloween anyway? And where did we get trick or treating from?
It all comes down to individual opinions and how you want to raise your children. Even if it's not the popular choice, I'm not gonna lie.
What do you think?
I love the decorations. I love to decorate my own house and see all of the other cool decorations other people have. There is a house down the street from us that always has more lights and decorations than I have ever seen in one yard. It's a bit much but it's an attention grabber.
I love the Christmas tree. I love to get the tree out each year (yes we have a fake because I can't stand the needles) and I love to decorate it. Growing up, our family would decorate the tree together with all kinds of ornaments that we had collected over the years. I like to do themes for my trees. Last year I did pink and silver in honor of the newest member of our family. I'm really hoping to instill the tradition of decorating the tree with my kids.
I love finding the perfect gifts for people and I love to watch their reactions when they open those gifts. I generally wait until I have purchased ALL of my gifts, I sort them out in the living room as to who gets what and then I wrap them. Yes, I even love wrapping the gifts and putting pretty bows on them and making them look cute!
I love the way the gifts look under our Christmas tree. I love that I get a new Hallmark Jingle Pal each year and that it gets added to the collection under the tree. We put our tree up on a coffee table so the animals can't get to it. So the jingle pals sit on the table under the tree and the gifts then go under the table.
I love all of the Winter smells. I love snow. I love that on most nights, nothing lights our living room but the tree and the decorations. I love the family gatherings. We do my Mom's side of the family on Christmas Eve, then just the immediate family on Christmas Day and then we do my Dad's side of the family after Christmas.
What I'm struggling with? Santa.
My parents told us all about Santa when we were kids. We believed. Until I went snooping in my parent's bedroom and found a huge box of gifts. Of course I was like five so I investigated further only to find a ton of gifts in that box addressed "To: Vanessa From: Santa". Um....what?
I was five and confused but I didn't say anything to my parents because I didn't want to get in trouble for snooping!! I don't remember when it actually came out that I knew truth about Santa but I do remember feeling very hurt that parents lied to me.
If there was one thing my presents couldn't stand, it was lying. They tried to teach to always tell the truth, even when we knew we would get into trouble for it. They were adamant on not lying. And then they lied. And I felt betrayed. Yes, at five years old, I felt betrayed.
This is where my issue comes in. I don't want to do that to my children. I don't want to tell them for however long that there is this mythical man who delivers presents every year on Christmas Eve only to have them find out that it's all a lie. I can imagine how disappointed they will be because I was!
I don't want them waiting up until midnight Christmas Eve with cookies and milk waiting for someone who does not exist. I don't want them writing letters to the North Pole knowing they will never be sent. I also don't want them believing that the Easter Bunny comes and leaves them a basket. Or that a Tooth Fairy comes and leaves money for their fallen teeth.
I'm just not ok with it.
I'm not saying other people shouldn't do it. I would never tell someone else's child that these things don't exist and I will raise my children to be sensitive to other opinions. But I just don't want to participate in these lies.
As a more religious man, my husband couldn't agree more. He was not raised to believe in any of these things and he doesn't want our kids raised that way either. We have different reasons for this belief but we are on the same page.
Whenever I tell people this, they seem shocked, like I'm damaging my child. My Mom has a really hard time with it. She just doesn't understand how we can take away the 'magic' of Christmas. Christmas isn't supposed to be about magic. It's not even supposed to be about decorating or gift giving.
She also had a hard time at Halloween when we said no costumes or trick or treating. And she made her opinion about it known. We just don't feel that we need to have our baby dressed up in a crazy little costume, walking around the neighborhood begging for candy. I mean, what is Halloween anyway? And where did we get trick or treating from?
It all comes down to individual opinions and how you want to raise your children. Even if it's not the popular choice, I'm not gonna lie.
What do you think?
It's definitely a tricky one. I know my parents let us know about Santa, and I remember asking a bunch of questions about how Santa really gets to everyone's houses in one night - and my mom explained that she and my dad were actually "Santa" and left the presents under the tree for us, and each kid's parents were "Santa" for them. It made perfect sense to me, and I liked being in on the secret. I can see how it could go the other way for some kids though, but I guess my parents didn't put too much emphasis on Santa to where I felt let down. We might tell our kids about Santa, but probably the same way my parents did, kind of keeping it on a make-believe level from the start. I don't know. I think we'll just wing it. :-) We don't celebrate Halloween either, mostly because it's origins are really dark, and it's just a dark holiday anyway, and we don't feel comfortable with it. I say good for you for knowing how you want to address these issues for your kids! It's good to think about it.
ReplyDeleteYes I guess I just don't want my kids to feel as let down as I did about it. I'm glad there is someone else out there with the same thoughts on Halloween! I just don't get it!
ReplyDeleteOMG this makes me so sad. It reminds me of when I worked at a store and the little girl wanted something with Santa on it and her mother said, I told you he isn't real! Seriously, neither is Barbie, so you aren't going to get her that either?
ReplyDeleteI LOVE Christmas. I was raised Catholic, but I no longer consider myself religious at all. I celebrate the idea of Santa, the joy of giving gifts, the togetherness the season brings.
My husband and I just were talking about this last night! I was saying what do we say when she asks why Santa comes on the 25th and not the 6th like it says on the internet about that being the day he normally would have a long long time ago.
p.s. I can't believe you are a no-reply blogger. It makes me sad. :(
I'm not going to be mean to my kids about it but I want them to understand that it isn't real. Will I buy my daughter a Barbie? No, not if I can help it. That's whole other post, though. I am not a religious person either so I don't choose this because of religion the way my husband does. There is a fine line between the realness of things. My husband asked me the other day if we should be allowing our daughter to watch cartoons because they aren't real either. I guess it just depends on how you look at it.
DeleteI don't mean to be! I keep seeing posts about no-reply bloggers but I didn't think I was one!
Something I have realized...lots of our holidays (mainly Christian) have been mixed with traditions of others. Why? Who knows. Eggs on Easter? Jewish people have eggs during Passover. It's just a lot of similarities.
ReplyDeleteI always questioned everything, hence why I don't consider myself religious any longer.
I don't know to fix the no-reply blogger thing!
DeleteI think I fixed it.
DeleteI really couldn't disagree more. The things I remember most about my childhood was the mythical things. Santa, Easter Bunny. Halloween was just for fun and I still dress up for that. I don't feel it was damaging to me in any way when I found out that these things didn't exist and I was grateful for the experience. It's just fun. I can't wait for my kids to write letters to Santa and leave cookies for him and carrots for the reindeer. Are you also not going to let your child pretend? because that is all Santa is. Pretending. It's having an imagination. When your 4 year old starts telling his teachers and class mates that there are no santa you are going to have a few angry mothers calling you and I would be one of them. To each their own I guess, Just seems sad for your child to miss out on the excitement. Is your child going to be the only child at school not in a costume on Halloween?
ReplyDeleteI did say that I would teach my child to be sensitive to other people's opnions. And I also said that there is a fine line between what's real and what's pretend. Maybe I shouldn't let my child watch TV because that's pretend. Santa isn't just pretend. I don't think it's wrong for me to want my child to celebrate the holidays for their actual meanings and not for the "pretend" meanings that we have created. I guess my child will be the one getting to stay home during the Halloween parade at school and I have no issues with that. And if it is truly to each his own, then you wouldn't be attacking my opinion, you would be thinking about it and trying to see it from a different perspective.
DeleteHmmm I had not even thought about this since Mackenzie is only 16 months. We haven't gone trick or treating yet, seen Santa at the mall, hid Easter eggs.....I could say this is a 'fail' but she doesn't know these things are supposed to be done. And your right, these things have nothing to do with the meaning of these holidays.
ReplyDeleteThanks for giving me something to think about! :)
And I hope your mom can respect your parenting decisions.
Right, they have nothing to do with the actual holidays. I don't judge anyone who chooses to take their kids to see Santa, I just choose not to do that myself. It's definitely not a fail on your part. She has no idea what's going on yet!
DeleteI think "pretend" is all a part of being a child and it ruins the childhood if they can't play along. I was never traumatized by it. I guess I think my mom cared so much even though we didn't have a lot to try and get us what she could for Christmas or do other things on holidays to make them special for us. My happy memories of all those things came to an end when her BF came in the picture. No more mommy making the whole neighborhood look awesome on Halloween because she was the cool mom that was great at doing funky makeup.
ReplyDelete