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Struggles

Day 20:  Get real.  Share something you're struggling with right now.

Gosh...there are so many things right now.

My husband works more hours than I can comprehend and I feel like a hard core single mom most of the time.  When he is home, he wants to spend time with his little girl and I want him to help me with the housework!  We have no balance.

I turn 30 in exactly 12 days and all I can think about is how I've already lived a third of my life, if I'm lucky.  I feel so morbid lately but it's been on my mind so much.  Like maybe I need to go to a therapist or something.

I'm bringing another baby into this world and into our house.  I am so nervous about balancing life with two kids yet all I can think about is making sure we can get a third kid in yet before it's too late!  It's this weird I-need-to-leave-as-many-kids-behind feeling that I have never had before.  Maybe it's just because of my birthday.

Our house is too small and we aren't planning to move until closer to the end of the year.  Baby Boy won't have his own bedroom until then.  I hate that we will be so cramped for a few months.  Plus the house we are looking to buy needs some work and we have nothing in writing yet.  Oh and no back up plan.  Give me a heart attack why don't you?

I'm quitting my job so that I can be a stay at home Mom. Holy crap. Am I really? How will I handle being at home with the kids all day long every single day?   Are we sure we can afford it?  I am excited and nervous about this decision.


Comments

  1. When I turned 30 I spent the day on the couch with my head covered up.

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  2. You can do the single mom thing! Some days you'll rock it and there will be playing outside, learning, and no tears (from you or the kids) Other days you will do what I like to call 'survive.' :o) Cartoons, don't want to wear clothes kid....fine. Only want breakfast bar for lunch...cool. :o)
    I'm not going to think about 2 kids yet. And we are going to go a year and a half in a two bedroom apt with 2 kids. It'll be tight, but I'm ok with it.....(remind me that I said that in a year.) :o)
    Good luck on the house thing....

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