The only thing my husband wants for his birthday is a weekend away without the kids. No problem, right. Here's the thing....my son is only 2 months old. I honestly thought that I would have no problems leaving the kids behind but the more I think about it, the more anxious I get.
He wants the kids to spend the weekend at his brother's house while we spend some much needed adult time away. I'm in love with this idea and yet I get teary eyed every time I think about leaving my little boy behind.
It's not that I don't trust my brother in law and sister in law with my kids. Baby girl loves her Uncle and Aunt. But my little guy still doesn't sleep through the night so that's a burden on them that I would feel pretty bad about. Plus, he's my little guy. I mean he's my fragile little guy. While I would give just about anything to get one solid night of sleep, I'm just not ready to leave him.
My brother in law's birthday is only two weeks after my husband's so I suggested that we spend the weekend with my brother in law instead. Let the guys go hunting and just relax a bit with the family. I know my husband is disappointed and I feel terrible but I just don't think I can leave the baby yet.
Friends of ours are renewing their wedding vows at a romantic resort in June and we are planning to spend that weekend away with them with no kids. The little guy will be 10 months old and I think I will be ready to leave him by then!
The other issue that comes with this is with my parents. I would love to leave the kids with my Mom because my daughter, she is so in love with her Nana and who could I trust more with my kids? They also live five minutes from us. The only problem is that my parents smoke. They smoke a lot. And they smoke in their house,
I'm not really ok with my kids being in their house for an entire weekend when they smoke. It's bad enough when they only spend a few hours there let alone an entire weekend. So the question is, do I have the right to ask them not to smoke in their own house? My husband thinks I do but I don't. I do think that I have the right to tell them that as long as they choose to smoke in their home, then I'd rather not have my kids there.
I just hate that every time we leave their house, the kids smell like smoke. I know how I feel when I leave their house, I can't imagine my children's little lungs! I think that we need to have a conversation with them about it but I know it's going to cause problems. I just don't see why they can't come to our house to watch the kids.
I would love it if they would quit smoking but that's not my decision and that's definitely not something I can ask them to do. My husband and I smoked for years but we never smoked in our house and we quit quite a few years ago. I don't pretend to not understand why people smoke. I thoroughly enjoyed smoking, as odd as that may sound. I don't judge people who smoke but we chose to quit and to cut it from our lives.
So where is the boundary? Does anyone else have issues like this and, if so, how do you handle them?
He wants the kids to spend the weekend at his brother's house while we spend some much needed adult time away. I'm in love with this idea and yet I get teary eyed every time I think about leaving my little boy behind.
It's not that I don't trust my brother in law and sister in law with my kids. Baby girl loves her Uncle and Aunt. But my little guy still doesn't sleep through the night so that's a burden on them that I would feel pretty bad about. Plus, he's my little guy. I mean he's my fragile little guy. While I would give just about anything to get one solid night of sleep, I'm just not ready to leave him.
My brother in law's birthday is only two weeks after my husband's so I suggested that we spend the weekend with my brother in law instead. Let the guys go hunting and just relax a bit with the family. I know my husband is disappointed and I feel terrible but I just don't think I can leave the baby yet.
Friends of ours are renewing their wedding vows at a romantic resort in June and we are planning to spend that weekend away with them with no kids. The little guy will be 10 months old and I think I will be ready to leave him by then!
The other issue that comes with this is with my parents. I would love to leave the kids with my Mom because my daughter, she is so in love with her Nana and who could I trust more with my kids? They also live five minutes from us. The only problem is that my parents smoke. They smoke a lot. And they smoke in their house,
I'm not really ok with my kids being in their house for an entire weekend when they smoke. It's bad enough when they only spend a few hours there let alone an entire weekend. So the question is, do I have the right to ask them not to smoke in their own house? My husband thinks I do but I don't. I do think that I have the right to tell them that as long as they choose to smoke in their home, then I'd rather not have my kids there.
I just hate that every time we leave their house, the kids smell like smoke. I know how I feel when I leave their house, I can't imagine my children's little lungs! I think that we need to have a conversation with them about it but I know it's going to cause problems. I just don't see why they can't come to our house to watch the kids.
I would love it if they would quit smoking but that's not my decision and that's definitely not something I can ask them to do. My husband and I smoked for years but we never smoked in our house and we quit quite a few years ago. I don't pretend to not understand why people smoke. I thoroughly enjoyed smoking, as odd as that may sound. I don't judge people who smoke but we chose to quit and to cut it from our lives.
So where is the boundary? Does anyone else have issues like this and, if so, how do you handle them?
Um, 2 months is early to leave your baby boy. Even if he's your second. I would also feel bad leaving a non-sleeper over night.
ReplyDeleteAlso, the smoking and it being your parents is a tough one. I think if it bothers you that much, they should come to your house since it's a non-smoking zone. I'd hope they would understand your reasoning since it's your kids. I don't have to deal with smoking, but I'd probably tell my parents they have to come to my house and they can't smoke.
Erin has had to have 'talks' with his mom explaining that she can't babysit the kids alone because she's so unstable balance wise. It's never a fun conversation, since she disagrees every time, but it's the best thing for her and our kids.
Hang in there, a weekend with your brother in-law sounds like fun. I know, not what the hubby wants, but they don't always understand. :o) When we had to move our stuff from OH to IN when Mackenzie was 5 months old, I left extra early the morning of the move from OH because I couldn't stand to be away anymore.
First of all I hear you on not wanting to leave baby boy yet, it's still early. It's funny that with my first I left him with my parents for the night when he was 2 months old, but with baby girl I just couldn't do it. I left her for one night this weekend and I missed putting her to sleep. As for the parents smoking, my parents smoke as well. Luckily for me they will smoke outside when the kids are there, but the kids still smell like it when we leave. It gets in their clothes and on their skin. We always have to have baths and change when we get home. I guess it depends on your parents how to approach the subject on asking them to smoke outside, or maybe in the garage? I don't think it's too much to ask, if they want to have the kids at their house.
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't want to leave my baby at only two months old either! I would think that your parents wouldn't mind coming to your house to watch their grandbabies for the weekend. I wouldn't bring my kids there for extended periods of time either since they are so sensitive to smoke at their young age. Honestly when it comes down to it, (when your baby is ten months), it seems like your brother in law is the better option. As much as we want it to always be our parents that we trust our little ones with, they may not always be the best solution.
ReplyDeleteMy mother-in-law is a smoker (though she doesn't smoke in the house) and whenever we are visiting with her my husband gives her a lot of crap about smoking near Dylan when we're outside. He basically wont even let her hold Dylan after she has a cigarette because he's convinced people that smoke give off nicotine for a half hour after a cig. I don't know what the boundaries are but if your parents want the kids to stay the night then you have the right to set down some rules.
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