To Daycare or Not To Daycare

A fellow Mommy friend of mine just told me recently that she is sending her little one to daycare for a few hours a day a few days a week over the summer.  This friend of mine works for some of the schools in our area and has decided to work part time over the summer.  While she and her husband were getting help from their parents to watch their little one, the parents have all gone home (internationally) and Mom and Pop are left to their own devices on daycare for the little one.

They chose to go with Kindercare because they liked the facility and because they know that their little one will learn crucial social and independence skills while she is there.  Plus, it's really really close to their house.  Problem is, Momma is freaking out!  I was in her shoes just a few months ago so I decided to write this blog post for her and for any other Momma out there considering daycare or something like it.

Now, obviously the first choice for any Mommy faced with the daycare dilemma is to stay home.  I mean, who doesn't want to stay home with their awesome little baby all day long?  But sadly, this isn't an option for many Mommas because they rely on two incomes.  My husband and I are personally making it our goal to see to it that I can stay home with our little one at least part time within the next 6 to 12 months. 

The next best option is friends or family.  We had a 'Nanny' who happened to be a friend of ours.  It just worked out that when I was headed back to work, she was jobless so she took on the job of taking care of Baby Girl while I was at work.  It was rough for me at first but it worked.  I went home every day to my Baby Girl.  I got pictures of her throughout the day and frequent updates.  I was able to go home and see her for lunch.

This was awesome!  Until our 'Nanny' got a full time job that offered benefits that we just couldn't compete with.  Well there went that.  We were hoping that my grandmother would watch her for us then but she was diagnosed with breast cancer and had to go through radiation treatments so that was a little too much for her.  So then we started researching.

There were the in-home day cares.  We liked the idea of this because it is much cheaper than your typical daycare and much more flexible.  In-home day cares only accept so many babies/kids at one time so you know that your little one will have more hands on care.  The problem we had with this was that we wanted someone we knew or someone who was highly recommended, neither of which we got. 

So then we started looking into the regular day cares, like Kindercare.  We just weren't impressed with the facility in our area.  It was not worth the price we would have paid.  It wasn't very clean and the people just didn't seem like they were clean either.  I mean, if you're going to try to take care of other people's kids, you should probably practice better hygiene yourself.  I just wasn't happy and I almost started hyperventilating during the tour.

The next option was a church daycare.  Now, we struggled with this because my husband wanted to take Baby Girl to our church and I didn't.  There is nothing wrong with our church daycare and school.  It was much cheaper than a regular daycare and it's Christian based so that's always good.

The daycare we chose just happened to be one that my Uncle's girlfriend worked at.  And she just happened to be in charge of the infant room.  Now we have known this woman for a long time.  She and her kids had become a part of our family.  Um, no brainer for me.  The icing on the cake?  The daycare is literally on my Mom's way to and from work.  While we were responsible for taking Baby Girl to daycare, my Mom was more than willing to pick her up on her way home.  And it was still much cheaper than a regular daycare.

Um.  Win.

While I do feel a little badly about not taking our Baby Girl to our own church daycare, I feel no remorse because this just works out better for us.  I'm sorry but this is all about us and what works for us because I need to feel comfortable with whoever is taking care of my Baby Girl. 

If I was able to quit my job and stay home with her right this second, I would do it in a heartbeat and this wouldn't be an issue.  Again, that's the plan, but we're not there yet.  My first option would be the Nanny but it has to be someone we know and trust.  I wasn't interested in just hiring some random person, especially since the cost is a little more than daycare. 

This is what we have chosen for now and it works for now.  Do I hate it?  Of course I hate that someone else gets to play with my kid all day.  Of course I hate not knowing what she is doing all day long.  But it is what it is.

So, if you have to make the ultimate decision and you have decided to take your child to daycare, whether it's in-home, church or non-church, here are a few pointers:

• Mommas, tour the facility, meet the people, sit in on play time, ask one million questions.  Do whatever you have to do to make sure that you are as comfortable as possible with the place that you will be leaving your child for a good portion of the day.  If you're not comfortable, you will do nothing but worry about her all day long.

• Mommas, let Daddy drop the little one off at daycare for at least the first two weeks.  Whatever kind of melt down you're going to have when dealing with this should be had at home, preferably after the little one leaves.  You are going to melt down.  It's inevitable.  I wasn't so lucky with this one.  TRUST ME....MAKE DADDY DO IT!

• Try not to play with her too much before she leaves for daycare.  This is the worst!  It's worse than if she's crying when you leave her.  My Baby Girl is a morning girl.  She is always happy and smiling and playful in the morning.  This makes it 100 times harder for me to leave her go to daycare.  Give hugs and kisses and move on.  Otherwise, you will be calling off of work.

• Make sure you label everything.  Any toy, bottle, bag of diapers, box of wipes, medicine.  Label it all.  I am such a little baby jerk because I actually made my own labels and they all had Baby Girl's name and a picture of her.  The kid's cute and everyone knows it.

• Send pictures along.  Baby Girl has pictures of Daddy and I in her crib so that she can always see our faces.  I'm not really sure it helps yet but as they get older, this will comfort them.

• Don't judge the aids based on the discipline they are giving.  There are many times that I walk into the daycare and I hear a screaming toddler and an aid trying to calm him down.  I don't know what that kid did but I feel like the aid is being a bit harsh and I just want to scoop up my little one and run out the emergency exit in hopes that it will sound sirens just for dramatic effect.  But we have to remember that these kid are there all day long and they are going to need discipline.  So don't jump to conclusions.

• If you decide that it's just not working for you, FIX IT!  Take your child out of that daycare and try a different one, beg people you know to babysit, rearrange things in your life so that you can stay with her instead.  Do whatever you have to do because if you're not happy, it will NEVER work! 

Mommas, the best thing I can say to you is that you're never going to like taking your child to daycare.  Not full time, not part time, not any time.  I hate thinking about someone else hanging out with my kid all day long.  I hate thinking about all the other kids in the room with her that could be sick that she could be sharing toys with.  I hate that I have to pay for a full week of daycare, even when they are closed a day for a holiday.

It's not a fun thing to have to take your kid to daycare.  I think it gets easier as they get older but a baby?  NO WAY is that fun.  But if it's the only option you have, you just have to deal with it.  You never like it, you just get used to it.  After about 2 weeks, and the realization that your kid is still alive with no scratches or bruises, you just get used to it. 

My Baby Girl has been in daycare since she was 15 weeks old.  I hated it then and I hate it now.  I can't wait until the day that I get to be her daycare.  But for now, I just have to deal with it.