I literally think that I am going insane and that I need to check myself in somewhere. I mean, life is CRAZY right now! I always thought that having children would be really, really hard. Lots of crying and sleepless nights and no time for myself and poopy diapers and teething and clingy days. It's hard work. What I didn't realize is how hard LIFE would be once I had children.
My Baby Girl is amazing. She is happy most of the time, she laughs and smiles A LOT and she really doesn't give me much trouble at all. I am truly lucky and blessed to have such an easy going baby because I could have gotten a real stinker.
Yes there is the 24/7 job that comes with the territory now. There are the nights when she is sick that I can't sleep a wink because I need to make sure she is still breathing. There are the days when she is so clingy and I can't put her down even long enough to pee. There are the afternoons when she is so cranky because all she wants is a nap and she is just fighting it with all of her might.
But these days/nights/afternoons are few and far between. All in all, this parenting thing rocks!
You know what doesn't rock? The fact that the rest of my life is in TOTAL CHAOS!!! Does that ever get better?
I can't keep up with the housekeeping for shit. Laundry is piled up and I don't even know what is clean or what is dirty anymore. I forget to do Baby Girl's laundry until I run out of hooded towels to dry her with for her bath each night. The dog hair....OMG don't even ask! I'm about to send Baby Girl to Nana's for the weekend just so I can clean the house!
My husband's business is a MESS! Now don't get me wrong, I have very little to do with the management of the business, but it's still a part of my life and it's a mess. I'm not going to get into the business issues but just know that it's messy and annoying and sometimes I wish he had never started it. And then other times I wish it would grow bigger because it has helped us in so many ways. And then I wish he would give it up because he's never around to spend time with us.
Our house is not finished. We still have to finish remodeling. I hate living in a house that is half finished. Our kitchen, bathroom, entry and steps still need to be finished. I feel like we have been remodeling that dam house since we moved into it (which was like 5 or 6 years ago?). And it's too small for us now. We have completely outgrown it with 3 dogs, 1 cat (RIP Kitty) and a baby!
There is so much shit going on with the other house that we are trying to get that it's almost not worth even trying. There is always something going wrong with that deal. There is always some kind of inspection that we know isn't going to pass or some kind of issue with the township we can't get past.
We never stop moving. We are always on the go. We have friends we have to visit, my husband has church softball games that he is at until all hours of the night (I'm talking 9pm start times), we have parties to go to, we have last minute calls to go do this or that and my husband doesn't know how to say NO to people!
Every plan we made before we had Baby Girl went to shit. My husband was supposed to stay home more so that we didn't have to send her to daycare. Yea OK. We hired a Nanny who left us for a full time job with benefits after only a few short weeks and now Baby Girl has been in daycare since like 15 weeks. I was supposed to be ok with working full time and now I hate it.
My little angel makes me ridiculously happy. I am never happier than when I'm with her. But the rest of my life? So unhappy I can't even stand it. They say that you're never given more than you can handle. Well that's a bunch of crap. I am at my breaking point. Something's gotta give before I freaking explode!
I thought your relationship was supposed to be better after having a kid? That you were supposed to be working together to take care of this new life you have created? All of this restlessness in my life equals a very crabby Momma who fights with her husband constantly, especially since he is working SO MUCH and is never around to help or spend time with his family. I feel like we have no peace, no fun, no love, no rest. Is this normal? Is that really what happens after you have kids?
Someone please tell me that I'm not the only one feeling like a hopeless bum drifting through my life right now. Oh and tell me how long it's going to take for me to snap the F**k out of this fog I'm in here. I don't know how much longer I can take it!
My Baby Girl is amazing. She is happy most of the time, she laughs and smiles A LOT and she really doesn't give me much trouble at all. I am truly lucky and blessed to have such an easy going baby because I could have gotten a real stinker.
Yes there is the 24/7 job that comes with the territory now. There are the nights when she is sick that I can't sleep a wink because I need to make sure she is still breathing. There are the days when she is so clingy and I can't put her down even long enough to pee. There are the afternoons when she is so cranky because all she wants is a nap and she is just fighting it with all of her might.
But these days/nights/afternoons are few and far between. All in all, this parenting thing rocks!
You know what doesn't rock? The fact that the rest of my life is in TOTAL CHAOS!!! Does that ever get better?
My husband's business is a MESS! Now don't get me wrong, I have very little to do with the management of the business, but it's still a part of my life and it's a mess. I'm not going to get into the business issues but just know that it's messy and annoying and sometimes I wish he had never started it. And then other times I wish it would grow bigger because it has helped us in so many ways. And then I wish he would give it up because he's never around to spend time with us.
Our house is not finished. We still have to finish remodeling. I hate living in a house that is half finished. Our kitchen, bathroom, entry and steps still need to be finished. I feel like we have been remodeling that dam house since we moved into it (which was like 5 or 6 years ago?). And it's too small for us now. We have completely outgrown it with 3 dogs, 1 cat (RIP Kitty) and a baby!
There is so much shit going on with the other house that we are trying to get that it's almost not worth even trying. There is always something going wrong with that deal. There is always some kind of inspection that we know isn't going to pass or some kind of issue with the township we can't get past.
We never stop moving. We are always on the go. We have friends we have to visit, my husband has church softball games that he is at until all hours of the night (I'm talking 9pm start times), we have parties to go to, we have last minute calls to go do this or that and my husband doesn't know how to say NO to people!
Every plan we made before we had Baby Girl went to shit. My husband was supposed to stay home more so that we didn't have to send her to daycare. Yea OK. We hired a Nanny who left us for a full time job with benefits after only a few short weeks and now Baby Girl has been in daycare since like 15 weeks. I was supposed to be ok with working full time and now I hate it.
My little angel makes me ridiculously happy. I am never happier than when I'm with her. But the rest of my life? So unhappy I can't even stand it. They say that you're never given more than you can handle. Well that's a bunch of crap. I am at my breaking point. Something's gotta give before I freaking explode!
I thought your relationship was supposed to be better after having a kid? That you were supposed to be working together to take care of this new life you have created? All of this restlessness in my life equals a very crabby Momma who fights with her husband constantly, especially since he is working SO MUCH and is never around to help or spend time with his family. I feel like we have no peace, no fun, no love, no rest. Is this normal? Is that really what happens after you have kids?
Someone please tell me that I'm not the only one feeling like a hopeless bum drifting through my life right now. Oh and tell me how long it's going to take for me to snap the F**k out of this fog I'm in here. I don't know how much longer I can take it!
Wow!! I can so relate to this. Remember Vanessa i have a husband that is never home. Doing all this alone does suck! My house is always a mess laundry im soo behind on. I hate working full time because i feel my parents spend more time with the kids then me. By the time i get hone make dinner i feel like doing nothing. But, at the end what makes me get through the day is my kids i think about all the fun things ww do as a family when we get that chance even if its 5 mim together. lol Honestly it does get better might not happen now. But it will calm down you wilk get out of your funk. Just takes time and paitence. Just dont ever be afraid to cry or scream because your going to havd alot of those days! :)
ReplyDeleteUGH I'm glad that there is someone out there who can relate! I just feel so unsettled right now! Like nothing is going well for us. I always talk about how easy it has been to be a Mom and how much fun I have with Ashlyn but the life part sucks! I’m really hoping things get better soon!
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